


Showing Him the Ropes

by FaeOrabel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Birthday Party, Cheeky Neville Longbottom, Discord: Dumbledore's Armada, Fake Dating, Falling In Love, Flash Fiction Challenge, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Harry Potter's Birthday, M/M, Minor Pansy Parkinson/Harry Potter, POV Theodore Nott, Pining, So is Neville, Theo is way in over his head, Truth or Dare, Truth: Fake Dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:56:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27613112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeOrabel/pseuds/FaeOrabel
Summary: When Theo gets invited and forced to go to Potter's birthday party, he makes an offer he wasn't expecting. That's what he gets for drinking the wrong whiskey.
Relationships: Neville Longbottom/Theodore Nott
Comments: 16
Kudos: 47
Collections: Truth or Dare?





	Showing Him the Ropes

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Truth_or_Dare](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Truth_or_Dare) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Truth: (Trope) Fake Dating
> 
> Written for DarkAngelofSorrowsReturns Flash Fiction Comp in Dumbledore's Armada Discord Server. 
> 
> Thank you for hosting this fun comp!
> 
> All love to my beta who will remain nameless until the competition closes.
> 
> ~edit: WON BEST TRUTH PROMPTED FIC AND BEST ROMANCE! thank you so much!!!~

**SHtR**

* * *

Clutching the invitation in his hand, Theo sighed and knew there was no way he was getting out of this. His Floo roaring to life with a shrill call from Pansy confirmed his suspicions. 

“Did you get one, too?” Pansy asked, flying right past any small talk.

Theo liked that about her—no fluff when there were important matters to discuss.

He held up the gilded letter, “Yep. I’m guessing we’re going?”

“You bet your sweet ass we’re going!” 

Theo chuckled and shook his head. “But why? It’s bound to be crawling with Gryffindors.”

“I don’t care what house we were in school and neither should you. That’s over and done with— a whole lot of rot that got us. ‘Best house in the school, Pansy’ mother said, ‘Everyone will be eating out of the palm of your hand.’ Bullshit! The only thing Slytherin got me was side-eyed looks and a target on my back from a madman. Harry is obviously past all that. We should be, too,” Pansy huffed, looking for all the world like she was stepping off a soap box.

“I know. I just like riling you up,” Theo smirked again, “Do you think Draco and Blaise are going?”

“I already called everyone,” Pansy informed him, listing the names off her fingers. 

“Oh, good to know I was your last priority,” Theo squinted at her teasingly.

“That’s because I _knew_ you’d be going without having to talk to you. You’re the _only_ one I was sure of,” Pansy smirked haughtily. 

Theo bit his lip, “Do you think he will be there? You know he just had to go through a funeral.” 

“All the more reason for him to go. Harry would never let him be alone moping or filling out paperwork.”

“Since when is Potter, Harry?” Theo reverted to negging. 

Pansy cackled, “Since he fucked me seven ways from Sunday.” 

Theo’s face went from surprise, to disgust, to impressed, and back again. 

“How the hell did you manage that one after offering the boy up on a silver platter?” Theo asked incredulously.

“I told the truth.”

* * *

Theo couldn’t decide if he should wear a tie or not. He wanted to look fit, but he also didn’t know if this event warranted ties. Just as he wished Pansy were there to decide for him, he heard his Floo go off.

There were only a handful of people who were authorised to come into his house through his fireplace. 

“Oh, Theodore!” called a voice deeper than he expected. “Put the tie down and hurry your ass up!”

Theo chuckled, shucking the tie off and throwing it onto his bed. Rolling up the sleeves of his grey button-down, he threw his leather jacket over his shoulder, nixing the suit.

“How’s this?” Theo made a full 360-degree turn so Blaise could see the way his dark wash jeans hugged his arse.

“If I were into men, I’d unwrap you like a present on Christmas morning,” Blaise winked at him, “Are you trying to nick every bird at the party with just your arse?”

“One- you _are_ into men. And two- no. I just know these are my best-looking and comfiest trousers,” Theo explained. “You know full well why I would want to look good tonight,” Theo shrugged, walking to the Floo. 

“Do you think he will be there?” Blaise asked.

“Pansy thinks so, and she’s always right.”

They both grabbed a handful of powder and tumbled to their destination. 

Theo brushed himself off as he waited for Blaise to come through. Blaise stepped out a moment later, looking just as spotless as he had when he was at Theo’s.

“How the hell do you do that?” Theo asked.

“Impervious Charm, you numpty,” Blaise rolled his eyes and chuckled. 

They looked around and saw the Leaky decked out in every decoration possible. There were older folks all talking together, children weaving through tables and chairs, and old classmates scattered around the entire place. 

Theo didn’t think he’d ever seen this many people packed into the Leaky before. Abbott would be having a very lucrative night. 

He joined Blaise at the bar, grabbing a pint in order to brace himself for the amount of mingling he’d have to do.

* * *

Hours later found Theo in a chair joined by several other people from his year at Hogwarts. The partygoers with kids were the first to leave, the older generation staggering their departure among them. Until finally it was just Hogwarts 1997—1998 technically—graduates with a few sticking around from the year above and below.

Everyone sat in a circle in the middle of the pub while Abbott made cocktails behind them.

“So, what is this concoction?” Dean Thomas called to Abbott, who just winked and nodded at Harry. 

Pansy sat in a chair as close to Harry as she could be without being on top of him. Smiling at her like a lovesick puppy, Harry turned to everyone, who all eagerly awaited his answer. No one was fazed by the Pansy and Harry show once they announced they were dating.

“We are gonna play a couple rounds of Truth or Dare with a twist. What you have in your hands is a mix of apple cider, firewhiskey, and three drops of Veritaserum. It’s diluted enough that we will only get five minutes of absolute truth out of you everytime you take a sip. It will also compel you to do whatever is asked of you with no inhibitions stalling your movements, if you choose dare.”

It only took two rounds for the truths to turn to dares and the dares to turn provocative. Golden Girl Granger currently sat in just her bra, having been dared by Seamus to put it in Abbott’s freezer for thirty minutes. 

A few rounds later, Neville was called out. 

“Oi! Neville. Truth or Dare,” Weasley Twin on the left shouted. 

“I’ll do truth,” Neville answered shyly. 

He was met with boo’s and negging, but remained firm on his choice. He took his mandated sip and waited for the question. 

“How did the last date you were on end?” Weasley asked, wiggling his eyebrows at Neville. 

Neville laughed. “I took her back up to her Common Room and bid her a goodnight,” he answered with a smile in Ginny’s direction. 

Ginny, gaped like a fish, “That was the _last_ date you had?” 

“Yeah, first, last, and only. I wouldn’t know the first thing about dating, plus I’ve been a little busy lately,” Neville shrugged good-naturedly, answering her question with a small smile. 

“I could teach you,” Theo blurted. 

The room went silent. 

Looking down discreetly, he discovered that he’d sipped the wrong whiskey. 

“Teach me?” Neville asked.

“Yeah, how to date. I could take you on a couple pretend ones and show you the ropes. You’ll be a professional by the end,” Theo answered with all the confidence of a man drugged on Truth Serum.

“Alright, I’d appreciate that, Nott,” Neville agreed with a smile that stole Theo’s breath. 

He just nodded in return, being unable to answer due to the lack of air in his lungs. 

He met Pansy’s gaze as Neville continued the game, and her smirk was so self-satisfied, Theo almost wondered if she somehow planned that. 

* * *

Three months later, everyone was back at the Leaky for Pansy’s birthday. Theo escorted Neville as their last fake-date in order to show him how to bring a date to an event. 

They’d gone on eight other dates, all focusing on different aspects.

One date, however, almost ruined everything.

Theo had set up his little cottage to be cozy and inviting. He’d made dinner beforehand then threw in some chocolate chip cookies and set up his living room for the perfect movie date. He rearranged his couch into a pillow fort and hung several strings of fairy lights. The TV was borrowed from Granger, and in the center of the room against a bare wall. When Neville came through the Floo, he looked around at everything as if he’d never seen anything like it before. 

“First time having a couch fort?” Theo asked, walking into the room to greet him from taking out the cookies. 

“First time for a lot of this, Theo,” Neville chuckled. 

“Fair enough,” Theo smirked and went into an explanation of the night, showing him dinner, dessert, and around the cottage. 

They sat on Theo’s floor after dinner, a plate of cookies between them, watching the second movie in a series they’d found, when it happened. 

Theo had been having to watch every move he made on each date with Neville so that he didn’t get too comfortable and go too far. But this time, Theo was just so damn into the entire atmosphere he’d created that he forgot. He forgot none of it was real, and he was just meant to be showing Neville the ropes. 

He leaned back against the couch from his place on the floor, and stretched, placing his arm around where Neville was seated. When Neville leaned in, it was only natural that Theo pulled him in closer and rested his head on top of Neville’s.

Theo forgot. 

He remembered as he leaned in to kiss Neville’s forehead and the man sighed contentedly. Neville had fallen asleep, and Theo’s stomach dropped out of his arse and through the floor. 

He almost called the whole thing off. He’d stalled in contacting Neville for a whole week after that date, but when Neville showed up unannounced, offering that it was the perfect day for Theo to show him how to do a lunch date, Theo folded like a cheap suit. 

It was that damn smile. 

Now, they’d gone over every other kind of date that Theo could think of, and he’d been very careful to make sure he watched every move he made on every single one. 

Mingling around the Leaky together, Theo was the perfect date once again. The night followed a similar pattern to Harry’s, but a few more people stayed for Truth or Dare this time. 

Neville and Theo sat next to each other, and Theo kept a respectable distance between them unlike Pansy who actually did just shuck propriety and sat straight in Harry’s lap at this party. The rounds started off the same, everyone playing it safe before diving into the salacious shit. 

Theo was dared to do a strip tease in the centre of the circle, going all the way down to his boxers before stopping. The game made its way around to Neville and he picked dare this game, surprisingly allowing Harry to take a body shot off of him in front of everyone. 

Theo nearly fell off his chair when Neville turned to him and asked him the dreaded question. Taking his sip, he looked at Neville with a smirk. 

“Well, well, well, I’m not sure what to pick, Longbottom,” Theo teased. 

“Don’t worry about that, I have something for either answer,” Neville smirked back, mirroring Theo.

“Alright then, I'll pick truth.”

“Will you go on a date with me? A real date. I’ve been taking lessons from a right bloke, and I consider myself a professional at this point,” Neville chuckled, waiting for Theo’s reaction. 

Theo froze, nearly dropping his drink. 

“Wait, what?” Theo asked. 

“Well, I tried dropping hints, but for a dating expert, you’re a tad oblivious, love,” Neville turned all the way in his seat to face Theo. “I want to date you. For real.”

Neville took his hand and Theo stared at it, gaping. He looked back up into Neville’s eyes and nodded. 

Neville rewarded him with a swooping kiss, and Theo melted into it. 

Pulling back to a cacophony of cheers, and seeing people pass around little bags of galleons out of the corner of his eye, Theo asked, “What would you have said for dare?”

“I would’ve dared you to date me,” Neville smirked, and Theo returned it, crashing their lips together once more.

  
  



End file.
